Not every staff is Moses’ rod, and not every stretch of water is the Red Sea. In a dramatic spectacle that quickly stirred curiosity and commentary, a pastor in Lagos recently attempted to re-enact one of Scripture’s most iconic miracles by commanding the sea to part with a staff in hand. Unfortunately, nature appeared unimpressed, and the waves responded with a lesson more forceful than expected.
The episode has since become fertile ground for reflection, humour, and cautionary storytelling about the dangers of borrowed grandeur and misplaced imitation. With his characteristic wit and playful sting, our ace correspondent and prolific writer, Col Augustine Ansu (Rtd), turns the incident into a light satirical ballad, reminding readers that while faith may move mountains, theatrics do not always move oceans.
Upon the shores of Lagos bright, where gulls rehearsed their daily flight, A pastor strode with solemn face, Intent on staging sacred grace.
A staff he bore, both long and grand, Like Moses marching through the sand; His followers watched with eyes aglow: “Today the mighty sea shall go!”
He raised the rod and cleared his throat, as fishermen secured each boat; The waves looked up with mild surprise, then carried on beneath the skies.
“O waters, part!” the preacher cried, With confidence both deep and wide; The ocean paused—not out of fear— It merely wished to better hear.
Again, he struck the foaming tide: “Make way! Make way! Step back aside!” The sea replied with salty grin: “Dear sir, what shift are you working in?”
He marched ahead, a yard, then two, as if the Red Sea rendezvous had scheduled Lagos for the day, and nature simply lost its way.
The crowd grew hushed. The waves grew tall. A seagull sensed a coming fall. The pastor lifted staff once more— The ocean answered with a roar.
A splash! A crash! A swirling spin! The sea enrolled him deep within. His sandals danced a brief ballet, then floated sadly far away.
The staff departed on its own, seeking a ministry unknown. The waves conducted, with delight, a baptism beyond invite.
They tossed him east, they tossed him west, administered a liquid test; then kindly brought him back to shore, to contemplate and try no more.
The ocean said, “Good man, take heed: not every age requires a deed. Moses received a direct command; you merely purchased a walking stick at hand.”
So let this tale remind us all, before attempting miracles tall: The sea respects no boastful speech, and wisdom often stays on the beach.
For faith is noble, prayer is fine, but common sense is still divine; and many a man has learned, alas, that water seldom attends his class.
Closing Couplet
Who seeks to part the sea for fame
May find the sea parts him the same.
